KarenDees

Oh Jim...

2009-09-30T07:41:00.000-07:00

On 9/27 I ran my first 5k. The weather was beautiful for the first time in weeks and it seemed to put all 7,000 people at the race in a great mood. My friend Snare stayed by my side the entire race even though she could have finished twice as fast. She is very encouraging and it's a lot more fun to run with people than by yourself.

This year has been all about coming out of my comfort zone and trying new things. I am getting over my fear of calling people after having called nearly 30 restaurants to look for food donors for the Three Blind Wines event. Then yesterday I taught a 4th grade class for a day. I have a new-found respect for my mom and all my friends that are teachers.

My next goal is to give blood. I freak out at the thought of it and even typing this makes my face turn white but I really want to overcome this fear. What's the worst that can happen? I pass out, wake up and feel a little weak. No big deal.

Last night Jim and Pam got married. The episode was classic. Jim's brothers were so over the top in their speeches that even Michael said it was inappropriate. I loved every minute and will probably watch the whole thing again this weekend. Then, this morning there was a bigger man getting on the elevator struggling to carry a huge crock-pot full of chili. All I could think about was the episode where Kevin spills his homemade chili all over the floor.

I leave Monday for Arizona. Having never seen a desert or a cactus, I'm very excited. We will be traveling from Tucson to a little town called Sierra Vista, about ten miles north of the Mexican border. I probably should have brushed up on my Spanish a little.

Rain rain go away

2009-09-21T08:34:00.000-07:00

I don't understand how it's still raining. Where does it keep coming from? I feel that we as East Tennesseans are being selfish. So, God, we just want to say thanks for this blessing but we want to give this gift to California. I believe this is a sacrifice we all can make in order to save their land. Furthermore, my roof is leaking and I'd prefer that the water in my shower comes from the shower head and not the ceiling.

Yesterday I went to an outdoor wedding right by the river. It was so beautiful- brightly colored flowers surround by brightly colored umbrellas. The happy couple were good sports and I think everyone had a great time. Additionally, I got to see a friend from out of town that I have been missing for months.
As soon as I got home from the wedding, my new roommie and I went four wheelin in the mud on our friends farm. It was so much fun but we were soaked from head to toe by the time it was over.

On a brighter note, tonight is the premiere of The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother. Two great shows that I would strongly recommend.

The Office

2009-09-17T09:26:00.000-07:00

The Office season premiere is tonight!! In case you didn't know, I am in love with Jim. Yes, I know he's engaged to Pam and I know John Krasinski is engaged to some girl, but that doesn't change the way I feel about him. He is so sweet and laid back and so funny. He doesn't even have to say anything, I can just look at him and laugh.

I know some people think The Office is weird and random and awkward. But once you embrace the awkwardness and get to know the characters, it will warm your heart week after week.

Ok, enough about The Office or I won't be able to focus on work for the rest of the day. Last night a friend shared the wonder that is YouTube Literal Videos with me. Look up the Total Eclipse of the Heart Literal Video. You won't regret it.

And finally, I want to thank the manager at work who told me about Ragdoll Blast for iPhone. I can assure you Mr. S, I'm not at all playing it at work while waiting for files to load.

Updates

2009-09-16T09:49:00.000-07:00

After about 12 years of super long hair I finally chopped off a foot and donated it to Locks of Love. It was really hard to get used to but now I'm glad I did it (even though I'm already taking vitamins to grow it back out). I don't need a foot of hair when someone else is bald because of a medical condition. Losing all that hair has been very freeing for me. Not just because it takes less time to wash and blow dry. But my hair made me feel like a woman. It made me feel beautiful and sexy. Without it I'm forced to work on my character and pray that God will make me beautiful.

Last weekend I went wakeboarding at Michael and Becca's one last time. Now that summer is over I'm finally comfortable enough to jump over the wake. Hopefully we can go snowboarding this winter to hang on to the feeling. Thanks so much to my wonderful friends for being so hospitable this summer.

PTL that my friend Snare is back in town. She is such a joy to be with. I hope she stays forever even though I know she will probably end up back in Cali next year. I'm also super blessed to have a new roommate. Friends have joked that we must have met on Roommate Harmony because we have so much in common. Here's a picture of the 3 of us compliments of Ryan.

After a whole lot of talk and very little action I have finally become consistent in working toward my goal of running a half marathon. I ran 3 miles without stopping on Sunday and on Monday. That's the farthest I've ever run before. It felt so good afterward that I can safely say I'm addicted.

I have been patiently waiting for an iPhone for the past year and a half. With only 4 months to go in my Verizon contract, my LG phone was submerged in water while resting in the cupholder at the front of the boat. So my choice was to either get a new Verizon phone and be stuck in another 2 year contract or go ahead and get an iPhone. I really believe this phone is a blessing from the Lord. I love it so so so much! I can listen to Misty Edwards and David Crowder on Pandora all day, check my email anytime, anywhere, get on Facebook in a split second and upload pictures taken only seconds before... the possibilities are endless. The other night I used the Bible app to search for verses on hope. It brings up a list of verses and then you can click on commentaries for each verse. This commentary on Proverbs 13:12 was particularly encouraging to me:

Proverbs 13:12

This is one of my favorite verses- "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes it is a tree of life." It sucks not having what your will come to pass. It sucks even more when it is demolished by a whole other set of plans- maybe the dream house fell through, he broke off the engagement, you lost the baby, the job was phased out, etc. Whatever it is that you hope for...when it's gone, you feel sick. It's hard to trust God when it seems that "one thing" you want so badly is out of reach... maybe even forever. But when God steps in and fulfills the desire, it not only pleases our hearts but provides sustenance for others. In other words, when I wait for God's timing and I let Him rule my life, sure, some things won't work out they way I thought they would- OR WHEN. But when I walk through the process of trusting God, His desires become my desires. And when His plans are accomplished, it has more impact than just "Oh yay, I got my way!" Instead, the process produced perseverance and faith in me. I walk in strength now. Now others can read the story of my walk and be encouraged when their own desires are eradicated. Now my life is more than just an apple I can eat. Now it is a tree that others can eat from and benefit from its shade. THIS is being the body. I don't just go through stuff for me...it is ALWAYS about what I can do to feed others.

Well that's it for now but I promise to be more consistent from now on so that each post isn't 10 pages long.

Wesson

2009-07-24T15:25:00.000-07:00

Several months ago my dad gave me a hand gun for protection. It's a really cool Smith & Wesson revolver from 1904, so I thought even if I never need it, it will still be a great family heirloom. I live in a really safe, quiet family neighborhood where kids ride their bikes in the streets and you don't have to worry about crime... so I thought.
Today at lunch my roommate told me that in the past month she has seen someone snooping from house to house checking each car door to see if it is unlocked. One time she was sitting in our living room while the guy was 15 feet away in our driveway. Even though I talk big about me and my gun during the day, I'm a big chicken when something wakes me up in the middle of the night. So I think we're going to get a big dog to keep him out of the driveway. But I promise you if he ever comes in the house he will meet S&W.

Yuck

2009-07-21T18:16:00.000-07:00

I was sitting outside a few minutes ago, covered in bug spray and ready to catch up on some email when two bats started flying right over my head. Call me a Yankee or whatever you want to call me but we just don't have bats in Ohio. So then I wonder, where are these guys hanging out all day? The only place dark enough for a bat to rest comfortably around my house is in the shed. Eww.
I saw a show on HGTV one time where a lady bought a house and later found out that a huge nest of bats was living in her attic. If anyone is not afraid of dark dingy places and wants to crawl around my attic to make sure there are no bats, please let me know.

Dreams

2009-02-26T09:25:00.000-08:00

I've been having really weird dreams lately. I should probably stop drinking wine right before bed. A few nights ago I dreamed that Mickey (my beloved cat) was torn apart in a fight. He was walking around afterward and meowing and his flesh was just hanging from his bones. It was so gross. I woke up and had to go find him and make sure he was okay.
The night before that I dreamed that I was pregnant. Even though that's physically impossible, it wasn't impossible in my dream. I was at the hospital ready to give birth but while I was there I felt the baby kick for the first time. Clearly I wasn't ready to deliver so the doctor sent me home.
Last night I had a dream about Nathan. we were at a Lee basketball game and I was sitting next to him at the commentator's table. I asked him how he was doing and he said, 'well, do you want the true version or the happy version?' I said, 'tell me something good that happened this week.' He told me several funny stories and I remember just gazing at him with so much love and compassion, the way I would if he was my real brother and not just my brother in Christ.
It took a few minutes to realize that it was a dream when I woke up. I miss him so much and I feel like there's no one to talk to about it. Maybe that's why I'm dreaming it instead.

hmmm

2009-01-15T18:50:00.000-08:00

I'm not very consistent yet, huh?

Tennessee schools are closed tomorrow because it's cold out. Really? If my school had closed every time it dropped below 20, we would have had a 3 month long Christmas vacation.

It's been a pretty good week. Usually this is the worst week of the year. College football is officially over, it's really really cold, and busy season is about to start. But right now I'm watching The Office for the third time tonight, it's almost the weekend, and I'm going to Snowshoe next weekend.

Last week was not so good. One of my closest friends passed away on Wednesday after a life-long struggle with Cystic Fibrosis. I can't figure out if I'm okay or just still in denial. I do know that God's peace and comfort is overwhelming. The night he died, I stood by his bed and held his hand for about thirty minutes. I don't know if he knew we were there, but I just wanted him to know how much I loved him and would miss him.
Nathan's youth pastor spoke at his funeral and said in 12 years, Nathan did not complain about having CF one time. Not once. I complain every time I get a cold. His life is such an inspiration. He has touched more lives in 27 years than most people do in a lifetime.
I know he is happier now than we could ever imagine. Nathan would not come back now if he could. But if he did, I believe he would tell us to stop worrying about things that have no eternal significance and focus our lives on loving people and showing them the love of Christ.

2008-12-31T11:49:00.000-08:00

“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.” Bill Vaughan

Is it pessimistic if I want to do both? 2008 has not been a great year. I’m confident that 2009 will be better. Not that there will be some magical feeling of newness and awe tonight at the stroke of midnight plus one leap second. But I do hope that the year as a whole will be better.

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions because those usually don’t make it past January. Instead, here are my goals for 09:

1. Run a marathon

2. Become a better cook

3. Get more involved in volunteer organizations

4. Finally do the landscaping I've been putting off for 3 years

5. Take more pictures

6. Improve my Spanish

I'll keep you posted

The Beginning

2008-12-26T10:09:00.000-08:00

Ok, so how do I start one of these? It's not like I can catch you up on the past 26 years of my life right?
First I want to give a shout out to JC for the inspiration to start blogging. A writer friend once told me that she did not necessarily enjoy writing, but she enjoyed having written. I agree with that statement. Sometimes it is difficult to sit down and express thoughts on paper (or posts) but it's always rewarding. So here goes...

It's the day after Christmas today. I remember as a kid, this was one of the most disappointing days of the year. The anticipation had been building for over a month, but now it was over and almost time to go back to school. Even in high school, I always looked forward to the weekend and dreaded Mondays. Now I'm thankful for a life where I'm not looking forward to anything. That probably came out wrong. What I mean is that I don't want to skip over a single day because each day has the possibility of great times with friends, whether it's a weekday, weekend or holiday.

And today I'm just thankful that I'm no longer pricing my time. You see, for the past two years I have been studying for the CPA exam. Anytime I did anything, whether it was hanging out with friends, watching TV, or even going grocery shopping, in the back of my mind (or the front to be honest) I was weighing the time spent away from studying. As if each hour of the day had a price on it and if I 'wasted' it doing something besides studying, I would pay later. Maybe that's just the way my sick accountant's mind works.

But praise God- I finally passed them all and am finished studying forever. I never thought I'd say this but I'm thankful that it took me so long. The accounting standards I learned may be forgotten or temporarily misplaced, but the lessons I learned are priceless. It's like Rick Warren (and the Bible) said, everything in life is a test. For the first year and 8 months of my CPA endeavor I had been putting God on the back burner. I kept telling myself that as soon as the studying was over I could start pursuing the things God had for me again.

After countless tears and several failing scores, I finally realized that God will never settle for the back burner. He is first no matter what else is going on in my life. After over a year without passing a single exam I finally decided that I was going to throw my efforts into whatever I saw God doing around me. I tagged along with my roommate to a ministry she is involved in called Haven Place. Haven Place is a place for teens and young adults who may have gotten off on the wrong foot in life but are now finding or searching for Jesus. It was at Haven Place that God revealed to me how truly prideful I am. I don't think that I can say that the pride is gone yet, but I'm thankful to at least be aware of it. Pride is number one in the list of things God hates (Proverbs 6:16-19). Pride breeds selfishness and pride says I think my way is better than God's way.

Like many accountants, I have a very analytical mind. Those analytical minds always want to be in control, want to plan, want to know what is up ahead. In my mind I can lay out a timeline and place the events I look forward to in life on that timeline in the order and timing I want them to happen. I don't think there is anything wrong with having plans, goals and dreams. However, there is something wrong with me feeling like a failure for not attaining those goals in the time frame in which I hoped to attain them. That statement may drop open the mouth of a Career Builder writer, but as a Christian, I have to have a different perspective. Isaiah says His ways are not our ways and as the heavens are higher than the earth, so His ways are higher than our ways. He has proven this time and time again in my life. God is concerned about the process. He doesn't really care that I'm a CPA. He cares about what I learned in the process of becoming one.

In the past three months, on top of studying for three rigorous exams, I have had the furnace break, the plumbing stop up, the car die, and the roof leak. I have learned that my best friend and roommate is moving out, have dealt with the loss of some close relationships in my life and worst of all, have had some close calls with a very good friend who is very sick. On Tuesday it took me 12 hours to make a 5 hour drive to Cincinnati. I spent 3 hours on a bridge with my car turned off, learned my way around the back roads of Lexington when a different part of the highway was shut down, and finally got moving again only to hit my brakes on a patch of black ice. As I spinned full circle 3 times in the middle of 75 and came to a stop untouched, I realized that God is in control and I am not. I have learned to look at each of the disappointments and annoyances of the past few months as another test. And I realize that each test, no matter how big or how small, is making me more like Him. So now I understand how James can say that he welcomes these tests. God is going to get our attention one way or another. A silversmith refines silver by holding it in a very hot flame until it is done. How does he know when it is done? He can see his image in it. I would rather be on the broiler than the slow cooker. It may hurt more now but it will be over more quickly. Not that God is ever finished working on us, but the more he does, the more it fills our hearts with his passions and desires and the more joy it brings us. I met an elderly man one time who made a very profound statement. He said, "I cannot be disappointed, period." He had been walking with God so long and trusted him so much that nothing that happened could disappoint him because he knew that it was part of God's divine plan. And he knew that even the bad things which may not be from God, will be used by God for our good.

As 2009 approaches I'm definitely hoping and praying for a better year. But I pray that the lessons of 2008 will not be forgotten. I pray that my eyes will be on Him and that my heart will be passionate about pursuing His desires and not my own.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!